Greetings: la bise, handshakes and tu or vous

Newcomers commonly report that greetings in France involve more ritual than they are used to, and that it takes a while to know which greeting fits which person:

• Cheek kisses among friends. Campus France's guide for international students describes faire la bise, a kiss on the cheek, as the usual way to say hello or goodbye between men and women, between women and between men. Two kisses, one on each cheek, are most common; in some regions people give one, three or four.
• Handshakes in many other situations. An etiquette guide in The Connexion notes that handshakes are common socially as well, for example with tradespeople and casual acquaintances, while among friends la bise usually replaces the handshake.
• Tu or vous. French has two forms of "you". The same guide advises using vous by default with anyone you do not know well, including neighbours, colleagues and older people, and switching to tu only by mutual agreement or invitation; using it too early can come across as overfamiliar.
• Habits that changed after Covid. The Local reports that la bise survived the pandemic but became less automatic, especially at work. It cites a 2022 survey by the jobs platform Qapa in which 90 percent of respondents said they had stopped doing la bise at work, and an Ifop poll from 2021 in which 78 percent planned to avoid it with complete strangers.

A greeting for people you know

La bise is mainly a sign of familiarity: friends, family, friends of friends and, in some workplaces, close colleagues. With people you are meeting in a formal or professional setting, a handshake or a spoken greeting is the safer default. A guide from the Cours de civilisation française de la Sorbonne also notes that people are often formal with someone they meet for the first time or in professional settings, using titles and surnames.

Declining is more accepted than before

The sociologists quoted by The Local describe a shift rather than an end: one said the predictions that la bise would disappear with the pandemic were wrong, another that people no longer need to justify or apologise for not doing it. Handshakes, a wave, a fist or elbow bump or a hug are all seen as alternatives today, and some people now keep la bise for friends and family only.

Tu and vous are about the relationship

Choosing vous is not cold: it marks respect and a professional or new relationship. Moving to tu is a small step in a relationship, which is why it is usually proposed rather than assumed. If you slip into tu too early, The Connexion suggests a brief apology; if the reaction is cool, continue with vous.

• Region. The number of kisses varies: two is the most common practice, but Campus France mentions one, three or four in some regions. When in doubt, follow the other person.
• Work. Practices differ widely between workplaces and teams. Some colleagues greet each other with la bise, many now shake hands or simply say bonjour, and the use of tu among colleagues varies from company to company. Watch what others do in your team.
• Age and setting. Among younger people and close friends, greetings and the switch to tu are often quicker; in formal settings, with older people or with officials, vous and a handshake are expected for longer.
• Individuals. People have personal preferences, and some prefer not to kiss at all. None of this is a fixed rule.